Gillette: The Least a Man Can Expect
I'm tired of the escalation in 'razor technology' and their claims for the closest shave ever. It's time Gillette stops holding back.
Comedy Writing
Raining Tadpoles in Japan? Now That’s News to Me!
Over the last two months Japan has been pelted from above by tadpoles, fish, frogs, dragonfly nymphs…even a mummified snake.
Daft Thunk: An Open Letter to Anonymous
Dear Anon, I appreciate your elaborate attempts to comment under multiple personalities in order to drive home your point. Unfortunately, you suck.
How I Avoided Every Apocalypse Since 1982
I have survived countless foretold apocalyptic horrors to date and the fact that I am actually alive to write this at all is simply mind-blowing.
Top Ten Most Disturbing Commercials (And the Companies to Avoid)
A list of the top 10 most disturbing commercials, and by public demonstration of their insanity, the top 10 companies you should certainly avoid.
Militant Simians Aren’t Just Throwing Shit Anymore
Americans have overlooked the most disturbing and potentially dangerous militant groups this planet has ever seen: the Mexican Monkey Army.
The Painful Truth is Out There
Have you ever noticed that on commercials about Aspirin, Tylenol, or Advil people give out the medication still in the box? Nobody does that.
McDonald’s Fucks You at the Drive-Thru!
In a shaky economy, it is important for any successful company to not just provide a sub-par product but to also suck the life force out of each and every customer.
Giant Sunglasses Do Not Make You a Celebrity
Have you noticed how 'normal' people’s eyewear is reaching almost novelty store proportions? Unfortunately, celebs are still driving us to ridiculous trends.
An Open Letter to All Survivors
Attention all people who have been on or are going to be on the reality TV show Survivor: pay close attention to this article because it may just win you a million dollars someday. Or at the very least, stop you from looking like a total idiot on national
The Perils of Social Networking
Social networking sites give people a sense of belonging and not being alone in the world. Yet this belonging is a facade and in reality is deteriorating real life human interactions. People are losing the ability to carry on a conversation.
Now Discontinued: Everything You Liked
Has anyone noticed that to like something these days is to instantly doom it to the realm of discontinued and thus endlessly search for an appropriate replacement? Yes, that includes all your favorite shampoos and TV shows.