A List of Apologies to Establishments from Which I Have Been Banned
Winkler Field in Saratoga: I’m sorry I repeatedly yelled, “I want that kid checked for steroids, he’s a steroid junkie” after a player hit a double.
Comedy Writing
Pissing on the Toilet Seat is a Sign of My Dominance
Other men see my pee on that white plastic horseshoe and know I'm in charge. That I'm an Alpha, and they are the weaker members of my species.
7 Bold Tips for Getting Over Your Post-Holiday Blues at All Costs
Exercising, befriending co-workers, and taking hostages are great ways to cheer yourself up in an otherwise dismal new year!
For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn, Wife Says They Have to Go
I wish my kid could keep the shoes, but my wife got really annoyed about the whole "$120" thing. Happy wife, happy life, am I right?