Everything I Told Brenda, Who Waxed My Bikini Line the Day I Became Fully Vaccinated
- Ah, yeah, I got Pfizer, too. - My weekend was good! Just went to the park, socially distanced. How was yours? - AGH, OUCH! Shit. No, I’m okay.
Anna Currell is a writer living in New York City. She recently earned her MFA, and you can find her humor writing across the internet. You can also find it in her notebook, but you'd have to ask her permission first.
- Ah, yeah, I got Pfizer, too. - My weekend was good! Just went to the park, socially distanced. How was yours? - AGH, OUCH! Shit. No, I’m okay.
I’ve never needed the Pythagorean Theorem for any moment of my life. I’m a million times better off without you, just like I always thought.
Now, I’ll admit. I knew the words that I was singing were not in fact “words.” They were more like syllables strung together.
Think something along the lines of “My oven is on!” or “I have a deadline to meet!” hold up your index finger in the air, and abruptly turn around.
Journal entries dissecting a previous relationship / Bad poetry / Concerns to share with doctor / Reminder to self to be more crafty
I’m disappointed that after our four-message exchange about how our weekends went, you haven’t proposed. It’s been almost a year, after all.
Me: So anyway, that’s why Jake and I aren’t talking anymore, because of that thing I said about Jason, and now it’s like where do I go from here, you know?
My Gynecologist: So, I’ll just mark “No” for sexually active then?
Make-up artist on Instagram live: So if you have any questions, leave them in the comments!
Me: *lowers hand*
“Rules are meant to be broken,” I whisper to myself as I leave my passionfruit tea bag in my mug several minutes past the recommended steeping time.