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Cincinnati

I coined the term "conestoga" in reference to an un-circumcised penis. Check Urban Dictionary --- it's on there. If you don't know what a conestoga is or how it relates to an un-circumcised penis, well, then you sir (or ma'am) have not played enough Oregon Trail. Dos Equis asked me to do their "most interesting man in the world" commercials, but I told them I was not interested. Paradox.

Comedy Writing

The Unfriendly Skies Open Up

I absolutely despise airports. They have everything I hate: long lines, large crowds, the possibility of a terrorist attack, and now, annoying grandmas.

8 Things You Did as a Kid That You Wish You Could Do Now

<p><font size="3"><strong>1. Play Hide-and-Seek</strong></font></p> <p>This applies to "Ghosts in the Graveyard," four-square, and pretty much any other game you used to enjoy.  If you're still engaging in these activities, odds are you're the only participant over the age of twelve, or you're drunk.  </p>

Two Chinks in Batman’s Armor

Batman is the best superhero out there. That said, I have made two discoveries involving Robin and the Clock King which have slightly lessened Batman's reputation in my mind.

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