Top Ten Reasons My Fedora Is Better than Your Ugly-Ass Baby
My fedora is almost always silent, but your kid starts screaming just because I flick him in both his eyes? Toughen up, Henry.
Comedy Writing
Do You Guys Hate Me?
If you were planning one of the many parties I assume you have without me, would you: A) Invite me! B) Neglect me!
Subway Restaurant or Subway Transportation?
There is a half-eaten sub sandwich on the ground. It looks like it has been there for some time. / You're here because you wanted to go "green."