Handholder’s Anonymous
If you're in the exclusive club of 'college students for monogamous sex,' chances are your hand is glommed onto your babe right now. But shouldn't it be down your pants?
Comedy Writing
Open Letters to Shorty Shorts Man and Fancy Gym Guy
If by some miracle I got the chance to talk to Shorty Shorts Man or Fancy Gym Guy, here is exactly what I would say.
Total Crocs: Suze Orman, Other People’s Pets, and Old People
When it comes down to it, I am a heinous individual. Suze Orman, other people's pets, and old people on ego trips cannot be tolerated.
I Supermanned with Nuts in My Mouth
I tripped over a curb at State and flew triumphantly while chewing the remnants of some prematurely dis-enjoyed macadamia nuts. While in the air, the words 'I look like Superman' actually scrolled through my brain.