Chelsea Elliott | Points in Case

Chelsea Elliott Deland, FL

I'm contemplating a career as a dominatrix in order to get my bathroom bleached. But don't judge me. I'm sure the tile gets just as white when scrubbed by a guy in a spiked collar. Born in Colorado, raised in Florida, living in California. I've never been outside of the country, but I'm dying to take a trip to Mexico. Unfortunately, people keep telling me that leaving Mexico without getting murdered is tricky right now. If anyone's interested in bodyguarding me, let me know. I can pay you in diet coke, and I hear the water's beautiful down there.

Comedy Writing

Why Women are Compelled to Trash Other Women’s Bodies

It doesn't matter how insanely hot your girlfriend is—inside every beautiful woman is a teeming mass of insecurity. Which is where the time-honored tradition of trash-talking strangers comes in.

by Chelsea Elliott
|
April 7, 2011

7 Ways Your Wardrobe is Cock-Blocking You

Before going to another bar and trying fruitlessly to score, find out if you've been sporting any of the following items. If so, they might be scaring girls away without your help.

by Chelsea Elliott
|
March 7, 2011