You’re All I Ever Wanted, Baby
Among the many re-enactments my sisters and I would stage hourly, putting on concerts for the public was foremost. But that ended abruptly when we discovered boy bands.
Codie Leiker writes funny things sometimes. When she is not writing those funny things, she is definitely not writing sappy poetry on personalized stationary with a Bic pen that has a feather taped on the end of it because that's for pussies. You can typically find her wandering the Loess Hills, watching anything involving a Real Housewife, and drooling over Abraham Lincoln's Wikipedia page. Yeah, she's kind of retarded. For charity work, Codie enjoys puppeteering for under-privileged children on the dangers of asbestos, fornication, and the misuse of possessive pronouns. When she is not telling the world how it is, you can find her flirting with old men at her local VFW.
Among the many re-enactments my sisters and I would stage hourly, putting on concerts for the public was foremost. But that ended abruptly when we discovered boy bands.
"Less alcohol, more water." I had written that on an index card when I was taking quick notes for my new and improved lifestyle. Looking over it now, my heart sinks a little.
Hundreds of thousands of years ago, the weather may have mattered, like when we had to migrate with our food in order to eat. Now it's just you whining about your BBQ being ruined.
None of reality TV's train wrecks compare to Billy the Exterminator, the greatest gift to the genre since Brigitte Nielsen tongued Gollum Flava Flav. So I had to see him in person.
The similarities between the funny lady and me are scary. Not to mention the "your mom" jokes, the Star Wars references, and the wide-set breasts.
I unabashedly and almost always change the subject from whatever I'm not understanding to Star Wars. That's pretty much how I approach any comic illiteracy.
Should we keep chugging along with our leaders, but make more "adult" decisions? Should we declare war amongst ourselves and kill one another? Should we even vote?