Dan Gutenberg profile page

Dan Gutenberg Ann Arbor

Ann Arbor based college student, aspiring NYC-based college graduate. Recipient of generally positive feedback from screenwriting professor.

Comedy Writing

After running out of per diem, your child will unwisely accept financial help from their Russian pen pal.

As the sun sets on the horizon, I use the bottle opener to crack open some ice cold beers and bond with my shipmates.

This Café Makes All The Espresso, I Guess / Sacrifice Something So Grandma Can Leave

Just because I’m an essay collection does not mean you get to neglect a third of my chapters and count me toward your summer Goodreads goal.

Warm and wide-ranging and wise, a wonderful companion. Plenty of substance but free of clumsiness. Neither cloddy nor cobby.

The most important qualities a man can have are leadership, integrity, and enough forearm strength to pull himself over an 8-foot ledge.

For all you foodies out there, you should know that very few alehouses carry meade, let alone fresh horsemeat.

When I heard I would be given the honor of introducing tonight’s penultimate speaker, you could imagine my excitement.

I do take issue with whoever claimed the domain liveauctionfor115belleview.net and started an all-out bidding war for my family’s home.

I’m a gumball, and the secret to withstanding inflation is really just a hard, protective shell.

— Dan Gutenberg