No, I Won’t Stop Dumping Trash on Your Lawn
It is not my fault that your son got a splinter from the demolished wood pieces that I judiciously donated to your lawn.
Comedy Writing
Sorry, Your Fire Insurance Doesn’t Cover Fire Damage
I empathetically understand why you think your house burned down, but technically it was destroyed and not “burned down.” This difference does matter.
Azor Ahai is the Coffee Cup in “Game of Thrones,” 100% Confirmed
Many viewers claim that this was an accident, but the truth is that every aspect of this show is meticulously planned including Ed Sheeran’s cameo.
The Survival Guide for Open Mics
The Musician: This Jason Mraz-wannabe thought this mic was for music, but ended up in a cafe full of comedians and stuck it out for some reason.
I See Something in Your Past, Present, Future, or Not At All
The name starts with an A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N---yes, I see you nodded in agreement---I mean my psychic premonitions confirmed it.
The Newborn’s Guide to Saving Up for Retirement
You can Airbnb your crib to other infants and sleep in your playpen. Make sure to charge them for the blanket, the mobile, and the cleaning fee.
I Dated a Vampire and It Sucked
He used words like “dooth” and “swete”, and I still have no idea what they mean. And his fashion is from the 1300s -- lots of beige-colored tunics.
The Five Stages of Grief for an Unanswered Tinder Message
Depression: Did I go too far by putting a puppy on my lap as I hold a guitar? Sure, I don’t know how to play guitar, but she doesn’t know that.
So You Want to Sell Your Screenplay?
4. To fund this web series and convince your friends that this project is worth creating, adapt the web series into a musical for the stage.
To the Stranger Who Hogged the Dance Dance Revolution Machine
How did you ask me to watch your gallon jug of water without a second thought or an inkling of remorse?
Please Give Me Custody of the Foosball Table
Please, I'm begging you to let me hold those knobs in my hands. I want to hear the sound of that little soccer ball dropping onto the table.
Dear Batman: Please Park Legally
Sarah: "I walked into my greenhouse and found a large tank parked on the roof. No light could get in and all my plants died. I lost my business."