Which Cell Block of San Quentin Would You Be Assigned To?
What would you try to make your shiv out of? The sharpened end of a toothbrush, or the sharpened bones of a rat you found in your cell and then ate.
Comedy Writing
The Church Announces Changes to Try and Get Young People to Attend Mass
To help bring in the younger audience, the flock is now allowed to respond to “The Lord be with you” with “OK boomer.”
How to Meditate in Spite of Your Stab Wounds
An amazing opportunity to find quiet time and space for spiritual healing is as you sink to the ground clutching a fatal stab wound.
Books If They Were Written By Shakespeare
Moby Dick by Shakespeare would have seen the white whale be able to speak and he would have sassed Ahab to his grave.
An Alien’s Guide to Caring for Human Babies
As we are the first of our species to inspect this planet called Earth, we have sent…
Odd Inclusions in the New Line of Bath Bombs
Vibrating Bath Bomb: We are not allowed to discuss what this may be used for (we are allowed to discuss murder and drugs, but sex is off the table).
The New Adopt-a-Writer Program
Frederik (42, Breed: Poet (Non-Rhyming)) Frederik thinks he’s better than all the other writers at the shelter.
The Hidden Messages in Various Albums If You Play Them Backwards
.5: The Gray Chapter - Slipknot (2014): The band members have a frank discussion about their worries regarding rapidly decreasing bee populations.
Letters Home From a World War One Fuck Boy
Apparently, we were supposed to defend against an incoming force. But what were we supposed to do, not go party? Saturdays are for the boys!
Ways the World Could End and What Happens After
The Sun Explodes: It’s been on fire for a few centuries now, it is only a matter of time until it explodes like a thing of bug spray in a campfire.
I, The Lovable Prankster of My House, Have Been Asked to Move Out for Some Reason
They just don’t seem to realize that, in a prank-war, these things just happen. It's no one’s fault, and nothing anyone should get in trouble for.
The Family Dog Would Like Some Firm Rules On What Can and Cannot Be Humped
Unfortunately, as you know, I want to rub my penis on everything in sight. I'm like 85% of men in show business: I'm a monster.