Deece Casillas Long Beach, CA

I'm a guy. I wear shirts most of the time. Unless I'm taking a shirtless mirror pic of myself to post on MySpace. I wear pants almost as often as shirts. I've won the award for "Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence" for 31 years straight. My brother is a pastor and I'm an atheist. Christmases are awkward. Thanks for bringing it up... dick. Christ, didn't I just do this in the "At a Glance" section. What the hell is this, the Martha Stewart fall season home preview? Fine, here we go again... What do I say? I'm rapidly approaching my 30th birthday and the fact that I don't feel good about it or bad about it, I feel nothing about it, probably says a lot. I don't think I'll even notice the difference when it does hit, besides the fact the fissure between me and being able to hit on 18 year old is quickly becoming a chasm. I remember—and by "remember" I mean foggy (smoky), possibly completely fabricated memories—being 19, on the eve of my 20th birthday, and feeling like I was about to take over the world, and I set these ridiculous 5 year goals for myself. I say ridiculous because I was 19 years old, and if you've ever been 19 before then you know that at that point in life you were at best a lateral move from a semi-retarded chimp, too. The point is you should read my material. It's funny. Oh, and very offensive, racist, and misogynistic.