Don Grapper Shitsville, USA

Don Grapper retired from his job as an Air Force Colonel in May of 2014, so he could more fully concentrate on pole vaulting. His writing has appeared in many pretentious journals, many of them read by post-menopausal women who have never orgasmed. A type I diabetic with a serious lung disorder, he likes itching his balls and salt. He is currently living in New Zealand, where he was working as a dolly grip on the production set for "The Blow Jobs of Narnia." Dong Grapper's prose stylings have appeared in countless journals that have the word "review" in them. In addition to writing vaguely autobiographical pop up stories, he has also served in several Presidential administrations as a kind of "informal" policy advisor, and is widely suspected of having dropped the ball on the financial meltdown of 2008, as well as screwing up at least five separate Afghan campaigns. When he's not agonizing over semi-colon placement, Don enjoys stealing vegetables from other people's community gardens, pissing bark off of trees in Northern California's famed Redwood Forests and shooting neighbor cats with his beloved pump BB gun. A five time winner of San Mateo County's "Dick of the Year" award, he is rude to gay baristas.