College Campus Dwellings
On-campus or off-campus? Obvious pros and cons make this decision about as easy as picking classes.
Comedy Writing
Spring Break at Ground Zero
Spring Break is not without its share of problems and idiosyncrasies. So wherever you go on your time off, try to enjoy yourselves. It's the last bit of fun you'll ever have.
Your Guide to Christmastime Love
December can be an awfully lonely month if you don't find someone to share all the mushy holiday moments with. Step one, learn to cook.
I am Worse Santa
Quick Note to People Wearing Santa Hats in Public: You're not fooling anybody. We know you're not really Santa. And you look like idiots.
Apologies/Martyrdom
My way of saying "I'm sorry" while immolating myself in my own funeral pyre. Also, some random thoughts about nomenclature and Santa Claus.
Sports and the College
Not since Saved by the Bell and AC Slater has the subject of jocks seen so much attention. Even the mathletes get their two seconds.
Last Minute Spring Break Brainstorm
Procrastination: it's what you're best at and it's why this year's Spring Break will suck worse than last year's if you don't give it some thought.
Valentine: The Aftermath
A lot of Valentine's Day commentary is cynical...and for good reason. All the couples are too busy having sex.
I Choo-Choo-Choose You
Valentine's Day is the one day of the year where couples come together to make single people feel like shit. No other day that so clearly separates the winners from the losers.
The Young and the Homeless
This is the time of year when people have to decide where and with whom they will live next year. Turns out nothing tears friends apart faster than housing arrangements.
Imbeciles/Devalued
The semester's almost over, and all I can say is: What the hell happened? Did I blink and miss it? I've never seen time pass this quickly.
Halloween, 1942
Laws of Nature You Don't Learn in School: The weather on Halloween is inversely proportional to the appropriateness of your costume.