Questions on the Job Application to Drive the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile
If you woke up and your partner was an Oscar Mayer wiener, how long could your grief stop you from eating them?
Comedy Writing
A Guide to the Various Women of My Dreams
Including "The Capable Ice Road Trucker" and "The Priest Who Challenged Me to a Rap Battle at My Nephew’s Baptism.”
The Recent Painting Vandalisms Are a Cheap Imitation of My Performance at My Daughter’s School Art Fair
I knew blanketing a third-grade class’s first art exhibition with cans of pasta would be controversial, but that’s why I did it
This Bowl Sure Is Getting Hot, Huh?
Now I’m halfway to the table, and this bowl is burning my fucking hands off.