The Stories Behind the Story Behind Dan Fogelberg’s “Same Old Lang Syne”
When I hear this song, I remember how Krakenfuss kept her grocery store open on Christmas Eve. She was the richest person in town and the meanest.
Comedy Writing
We Only Use Murphy’s Oil Soap to Clean These Church Pews So Get the Fuck Off My Nuts with Your All-Natural Homemade Cleaner
“Pine?” No. That’s not “pine,” bitch. That’s the smell of me frolicking through the forest with Jesus.
Dead Rock Star Bingo
"I can’t even remember a time in my life when I did not love [dead rock star]." / "Shocked and saddened..."
Signs You’re Reading a Really Shitty Sequel to Stieg Larsson’s “Millennium” Trilogy
Instead of computer hacking, the heroine’s special skill is replicating the fruit bouquets from Edible Arrangement.
Scavenger Hunt: New Kids on the Block Mixtape Tour with Very Special Guests Salt-N-Pepa, Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and Naughty by Nature LIVE at Boston’s TD Garden Edition
Someone wearing acid wash jeans or an acid wash denim mini skirt and a Tufts sweatshirt --- 20 points, Those Reeboks with the Velcro --- 25 points
Open Letter to the Other Dad at the PTA Meeting with a World’s Best Dad Coffee Mug
ROUND 2: We will re-enact Alice Cooper's “School's Out for Summer” video shot for shot. Contestants may borrow as many eye-liner pencils as they need.
My Truck Hauls Ass
I am the only one in my sphere of influence who has a truck that hauls ass. As such, my friends frequently call me to haul some ass for them.
I Am Ben Affleck’s Back Tattoo
I need to be moistened. I must stay moist. Look at me upside down and I become the illustrated narrative of Ben’s epic friendship with Matt Damon
Elton John™ LEGO® Sets are Finally Here!
"Elton John™ Gets Knighted Pack" Are you prepared to meet LEGO® Queen Elizabeth II as she knights LEGO® Elton John? Enter LEGO® Buckingham Palace!
28 Other Mariah Carey Songs Which Perfectly Encapsulate the Codependent Relationship Between Sean Hannity and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Feel the spirit of Hannity/Ocasio-Cortez in Mariah songs like "Can't Let Go," "You Need Me," "I'm That Chick" and "Up Out My Face."
What the Fuck is Wrong With You?
Or there’s a penny stuck in your nose. Then again, when was the last time you really took a good hard look at your nervous system?
The Only 64 Crayola Crayon Colors Allowed in Mother Pence’s Immanuel Christian School Art Class
Second Lady Karen Pence has provided access to beautiful color shades such as Partial Birth Abortion Red-Orange and I Can Tolerate Misogyny Maroon.