Listen Up, Peons: A Statement from the Queen
It is true that I carry a mobile phone, which I use to stay in touch with my grandchildren. It is not true that I use it to play Candy Crush.
Gary Derish is an erstwhile advertising guy and fiction writer and essayist. He has been making people laugh in a strictly unpaid role for several decades and has been told by his dentist "You're a very funny guy," and "Which insurance are you with?"
It is true that I carry a mobile phone, which I use to stay in touch with my grandchildren. It is not true that I use it to play Candy Crush.