How to Impress People as a Dad
Stimulate Your Baby’s Senses: But avoid actual stimulants, like coffee and Red Bull.
Geoffrey Line is a Canadian-American who writes for a magical employer by day and scribbles his own stuff by night—but mostly morning. He's written silly stuff for McSweeney's, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy, the Weekly Humorist, and other places.
Stimulate Your Baby’s Senses: But avoid actual stimulants, like coffee and Red Bull.
In 200 feet, check the mirror to ensure your child hasn’t escaped the car seat like a little Gen Alpha Houdini.
If you’re wondering, in the moment you wait for me to land in Street View, I howl through the mesosphere, engulfed in flame.
"Furloughed Guy": The problem with Furloughed Guy isn't so much the "guy" as the "furlough." How long will it go on?
"Pop, I have no platform! I have no platform, Pop! Can't you understand?"
Paying muggle coach to lie about child’s participation in West Coast quidditch team California Dobbys.
Once I’m on to videos I know there’s no going back and I’m going to hate myself for the rest of the afternoon.
I’ll be honest, we’re not going to give you back your shoes.