I Don’t Use Facebook Anymore, I’m Just Insufferable in Every Other Way
Since I’m no longer fixated on my news feed when we go out, I’ve started taking our six rescue dogs with me to the local coffee shop.
Comedy Writing
I Know Times Are Tough, So I’m Generously Reducing the Rent for the Crawlspace Under My House
Ope, watch your head there. Cam likes to go in feet-first, but I prefer lying on my side and sliding in with my hands like a walrus.
My Excuse for Living Under a Rock? I’m a Pillbug.
I'm pre-approved for a dozen credit cards, but good luck getting to Wells Fargo without being eaten by robins.
Young Wives’ Tales
If you break up with a man, you'll get a text message. If you break up with a woman, you'll get an Edible Arrangement and a Babeland gift card.