A Vagina Too Far
Commandant Estrogen and her right-hand officer, Major Labia, direct the cunning sexual engagement against Captain Phallus to perfection.
I never finished college. I joined the Air Force instead. Since I've joined, I've learned two things: one, everyone in the AF is a fighter pilot, and two, free health and dental is frickin' sweet. I am the author of "Fringe Benefits" and "The Scriptures of Tyrone," both of which are literary masterpieces. I also wrote a bunch of front-page articles that are awesome. White people are stealing all our jobs and keeping potpourri a profitable commodity.
Commandant Estrogen and her right-hand officer, Major Labia, direct the cunning sexual engagement against Captain Phallus to perfection.
No longer confined to the arbitrary system of letters and numbers representing your proficiency in college? Prepare for actual job productivity.
Part I of the horror/humor series following a group of college kids on a misguided road trip, and their ill-fated encounter with the surreal.
Part II of the horror/humor series picks up as the college friends pull in to the rest stop, and head to the restroom for a lot more than a quick pee.
The classes are easier and the parties fewer and farther between. Time to take advantage of fewer cock-blockers and hardly any police.
The strategy is simple: conquer female territory at all costs. You may win some battles, but you haven't won the war until your troops are deposited.
Week after week you clean up the results of our gross indiscretions, allowing us to continue our education toward not becoming a janitor.
Little did you know, every decision you make is hotly debated by almost every member of your corporate body. Penis, you're on speakerphone.
I ship out to Lackland AFB, Texas, on a Tuesday. I had sex on a Tuesday once. Logically, this coming Tuesday is going to be a good day. My training period will encompass the theatrical releases of Iron Man, Indy Jones, and Speed Racer. It's unfair, really.
<strong>0553 Hours, Fort Lee, Virginia</strong><br />
Lent is here, which to all good Catholics means another season of forgetting not to eat meat on Fridays. Also, it means us true Christians must voluntarily give up something meaningful in our lives, so that we may begin to value said <span style="font-style: italic;">thing</span> after a brief hiatus of fasting. Obviously, your run-of-the-mill American Catholic doesn't care.