<span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold;font-size:130%;" >RotN on the Campaign Trail</span><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;"><em>Peter Benjamin Johnson</em><br /><em>Democratic Correspondent</em></span></span><br /><hr /><br />"Nevada?" I say. "What the hell are you doing in Nevada?"<br />
The people of the United States have a love-hate relationship with voting in presidential elections; that is, they love to stay home and not vote and they hate to go out and vote. Among eligible voters in the US, it's rare that more than half will actually participate in the "vote-casting" part of an election.
Life is a complicated thing, with more than its fair share of mishaps, extenuating circumstances, and several-weeks-long peyote binges. Due to these many mitigating factors, journalists and the news media can't be expected to deliver the news every day. I mean, this is <span style="font-style: italic;">news</span>, not the <span style="font-style: italic;">Today</span> show.<br />
<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071027/wl_nm/mushrooms_dutch_dc;_ylt=Auu8JX3z5_jt1UX_i.LO6AOs0NUE">Dutch protesters make bid to save "magic mushrooms"</a><br /><br />Top Reasons to Protest for the Right to 'Shroom:
<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071003/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_children_s_health;_ylt=A0WTUdT58wNHN7cAVhys0NUE">Bush vetoes child health insurance plan</a>
<blockquote>Dear Britney Spears,<br />
<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070909/ap_on_fe_st/odd_salty_burger;_ylt=A0WTUedwquVG34UB6QSs0NUE">Oversalted burger leads to charges</a>
Idaho Senator Larry Craig <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070901/ap_on_go_co/craig_arrest;_ylt=A0WTcUJUxtlGBOsARAWs0NUE">resigned from Congress</a> today after becoming part of a sex scandal involving an airport bathroom, an undercover police officer, and some penises.
<span style="font-style: italic;">Newscasters have a responsibility to the people of this country, a responsibility to uphold the free press and the standards of competent journalism, and that responsibility is never more fulfilled than when we can report that a celebrity has been caught having sex with a transvestite.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">- Edward R. Murrow</span>
Human relationships getting stale? Save time, breath, and money by investing in the emotional and sexual stability of a lifelike robot model.
Eventually, the unlucky day will come when you catch a glimpse of your roommate's goods. Are you prepared for the awkward aftermath?