Andy Dufresne’s Apology Letter Had He Gotten Stuck in a Sewer Pipe and Failed to Escape from Shawshank Prison
I intended to flee, but did not expect to crawl through what appears to be two and a half football fields worth of human shit.
Comedy Writing
I’d Like to Add 50 More Weeks to My Two Week’s Notice
The past six years have been rewarding and have not been a "suck chamber" where I’ve "eagerly counted down until my death."
Contents of a Magician’s Pockets As Documented When Turning Himself In for Manslaughter
1 red/purple/blue/yellow/green/white/orange/red/blue scarf, nearly 30 feet long, covered in blood, possibly used as a tourniquet.
Unexpected Spiritual Lessons From Using a 7-Day Free Trial of Headspace in the Restroom at Work
Focus on your breath or letting your body go limp as it’s being dragged out of an ADA compliant stall by a security guard named Dennis.