Jake Murray | Points in Case

Jake Murray Austin, TX

Just one man in love with his foam roller. Words have appeared in Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy, Greener Pastures and The Haven.

Comedy Writing

We made eye contact right before the huge bag of kitty litter I was holding ripped open and got in my eyes.

Nobody likes working a job where their accomplishments go unrecognized or unnoticed, covert Russian hackers included.

You shall meet Ra, the Supreme God of the Sun and Creator of All Tan Lines. He will teach thee how to avoid straining thy intervertebral joints.

If you need big words to have fun, or are using five or six big words before breakfast, then you might have a problem.

I tried swing trading, but I guess I misunderstood what that meant, because the cops got called the second I showed up at the playground.

The book mentions a reoccurring nightmare of his, where Bigfoot would chase him across an endless plain, demanding he fill out a brief survey.

“I’d like you better if you had blonde hair,” I say condescendingly to the squirrel outside my house.

— Jake Murray, @jakeytwosnakes