A Halfords Bicycle Nightmare
In England we have a cycling and auto parts store called Halfords. It's kind of like a downsized Walmart meets a downsized Home Depot. And it absolutely sucks.
Comedy Writing
The Highs and Lows of Touring with a Moderately Successful Rock Band
Touring and sharing small, intimate spaces with people you don't like being intimate with is tough. But that's just part of the underbelly of band life on the road.
How Sexist are You? The Misogyny Test
If you're a modern man, chances are you hate women. Don't be afraid, it's natural. After all, they use their vaginas to gain an advantage in life and you can't do that.
An Alpha Male’s Guide to Being a Man
When at a party, stare distantly into the wind and say "I loved a woman, once" while sporting a visible erection to increase the manly perception from those around you.
8 Years a Slave: An Homage to England
The average IQ in England is 65, a shocking 30 points below the rest of Europe. Its people are fed a diet of hyper-violence, sex, football hooliganism, and soap operas.
Speed Dating: The Fast Track to Disappointment
At 30, single, tired of the vapidity of most day-to-day women, being an intellectual who smokes pipes, I reluctantly accepted a friend’s suggestion to try speed-dating.
19 Famous Poets Teach You How to Get Laid
Poetry is the lazy writer's way to express oneself. No wonder it's the perfect starter kit to get you laid! Prepare to be lauded as a genius, both in and out of bed.
Gym Etiquette for the Non-Meathead
Some people might accuse you of wasting your time in the gym. There are rules to follow, after all. Rules set by bigger men... and scary women.
A Loose Guide to Understanding the Vagina
All about the vagina and its associated sexual functions, including pubic hair, intercourse, foreplay, orgasms, and birthing. Welcome to Jamie's Mecca of Vagina!
20 Cliché Lines People Use in Arguments
These days it seems that respect is out the window in arguments for the sake of cleverly tearing your opponent's anus out with witty one-liners. Turns out you suck at them.
Mastering Steven Seagal’s Violent Art of Seduction
It didn't take long to figure out the trend in Steven Seagal films: the guy was socially inept, prone to violence, yet always seemed to get the girl.
Why Alien³ is the Best of the Quadrilogy
The film "Alien" set the benchmark for science fiction horror. It's also arguably the scariest movie ever screened of any genre. But "Alien 3" was by far the shining moment.