<p>Every so often, I write "smart" columns. These are columns that go beyond the typical "I jerk off with my dog in the room" mentality that let me grace a section in a National Lampoon book. This week, I wrote about journalist source protection and expected comments on par with the following:<br />"That was a littl smrt for me."<br />"You used to be funny. What happened?"<br />"Bwah?"<br />
Lady Justice may be blind, but she can still smell a scandal. Government heavyweights are tipping the scales against the little guys.
<p>Reader Heather commented on DeGraaf's picks last week (if you think I'm linking you there, you're insane) that DeGraaf's picks were better because he was always right. Despite this, (a) we were both 10-6 last week, (b) I murdered DeGraaf in the playoff picks last year and (c) Heather's a cumcatcher.<br /><br />Moving on to Week 3, and give me some credit, these are almost impossible picks
<p>As is the norm on this site, anything DeGraaf can do, I have a bigger penis. Welcome to Week 2 of the NFL season and here are my picks. For gambling purposes only.<br /><br />(HOME team in CAPS)<br />
The truth may be hard to swallow, but your anxiety and depression are all in your head. Life is hard... thanks to the little blue pill.
<p>Some of you are aware of my hideous showing in the PIC fantasy league. To be fair, it's ranked sixth on my priorities behind my fantasy baseball league with my college friends, my hardcore fantasy baseball league with my college friends, beer, masturbating and YouTube. So let's turn to football with my Fantasy 25.<br />
Football players are perfect targets to be MOCK... YEAH... ING... YEAH... BIRD... YEAH.
One hard look at MySpace's backwards design, wild layouts, and scatterbrained profiles and you might start to feel like the perverted uncle.
Would it kill you to say 'thank you' after asking for the time while setting the clock on your bomb? Learn some manners.
Liberals and conservatives, it's time to chill out and find the middle of the road. We'll pray that a newspaper truck hits you with its issues.
The spring baseball season gets a little help from Steve Carell's comedy classic. Get your game on, and quit propping up Johnny Damon's wang.
I’m in love. Her name is Rachel. Rachel McAdams. She is the star of such films as The Notebook, Mean Girls, Wedding Crashers, and Red Eye.