Well Blow Me Down: Exclusive Hurricane Katrina Coverage!
Throw political correctness to the wind, because when disaster hits, Justin is here to drown out the sensitive and revive the humorous.
Comedy Writing
As a Man, Here’s Why I Don’t Pee Standing Up
Finally ladies, a man who undoubtedly will leave the seat down—not just for you, but for himself. Some guys just can't pee standing up.
The Ten Worst Songs of All Time
Our official survey says 85% of readers would rather listen to a band of 4-year-olds playing cheese graters with forks than hear these songs.
NASCAR Sucks
It's the South's race against futility, but unfortunately, these drivers are going nowhere fast. At least they're not pulling their mobile homes.
Are You the Ultimate College Student?
Think you rank with the best of the best, most hardcore college students? Not so fast cowboy, you have to take this quiz first.
20 Ways to Please Your Man
From the world-renowned author of the proverbial book of love comes the highly-authoritative manual for stimulation. Aka, The J Spot.
This Column Won’t Open, Try F5 to Refresh
Nothing says "technology is a bitch" like all the broken features on your computer. Wireless connection? More like endless rejection.
Do You Believe in Miracles? The Story of Justin’s Friday Final
The story of Justin's Friday final comes alive with the unlikely sounds of puking, shitting, unpreparedness, and amazing clarity. Believe it.
The Vegas Diaries
Ahh, Spring Break in Vegas. Perfect time to start documenting all your activities (sins) in a daily journal.
The Mind of a Single Guy, Part 2
Another day in the life of man versus his own brain. Sometimes it's a ball-busting struggle.
You Drive Me Crazy
Road rage? Late to work? Sexually frustrated? Blame it on the bad drivers of America, including women, old people, and minivan-drivers.
Yeah, I’ve Been Drinking
Dear Reader, please excuse this column from any incoherence... and from PE. It has been feeling clumsy, awkward, and unathletic.