It’s a Column About Nothing
The suckiness of the Friends finale prompts some nostalgia about past sitcom successes and ugly farewells.
Comedy Writing
ESPN: The Worldwide Leader in Suck
ESPN used to be the champion of balanced sports coverage. Ahh, there's nothing sadder than watching an old competitor let himself go.
The New Lo-Carb Column!
America is fat. That's why we now serve special columns to accommodate, and help enlighten, Atkins jackasses.
How to Do Everything Right
All the important things you've ever needed to learn, summed up in five steps or less. You're welcome.
This Column Won’t Open, Try F5 to Refresh
Nothing says 'technology is a bitch' like all the broken features on your computer. Wireless connection? More like endless rejection.
The Exhausting Demise of Summer Movies
movie, summer, blockbuster, action, sequel, hollywood, The Rock, Face/Off, Flight 93, Mission: Impossible, X-Men, Da Vinci Code, smarterchild, Superman, Fast and the Furious, 9/11
Super Trooperball
Baseball is the topic, and with the help of some classic Super Troopers quotes, Justin's got the upcoming season covered in style.
The Golden Rules of Instant Messenger, Part II
You've read the classic. Now read the addendum. Because there's no such thing as a flawless buddy.
Vicious Cycles
Even if your bike was a two-seater, you'd still be riding solo. Trade in your pity-pedaler for a 6-cylinder, or keep it and be gay, pegboy.
The Secret Life of My Penis
Special guest writer, Justin's Penis, takes the wheel for this week's column. And boy does he give it to you straight.
The Downside of Seniority
It's your last year in college and the pressure is on. Even if you make it out alive, you're going to need health insurance to keep it that way.
Do You Believe in Miracles? The Story of Justin’s Friday Final
The story of Justin's Friday final comes alive with the unlikely sounds of puking, shitting, unpreparedness, and amazing clarity. Believe it.