The Seven Levels of Single
Sharing Valentine's Day with yourself? Find out how deeply, and possibly pathetically, your singleness goes.
Comedy Writing
Chick Notes: A Guide to Understanding Women
Just in time for Valentine's Day, it's the Cliff Notes for wooing your sweetheart into a dizzy love trance. (Barry White CD not included.)
The Eight-Day Itch
Doctors have yet to diagnose a condition worse than an itchy asshole. Now one man reveals his struggle to overcome this deep dark secret.
Same Problems, Different Resolutions
New Year's resolutions for the sinfully cynical. 2004 might suck, but Justin has some surefire ways to make it at least marginally palatable.
Music Video Strikes a New Low
John Cougar Mellencamp has a new video with a message: embrace your fellow midgets. If you can stoop that low without laughing.
My Love Story…
There is a love that transcends time and age. An ageless fantasy of passion and change. Her name is Hilary Duff and she is 16 years old.
St. Rebello’s Holiday Spectacular!
Call it the backlash of Christmas overload, but there's nothing saintly about this new holiday, December 26th.
Casual Misanthropy: The Finale
JD leaves with one more final fuck you, but hey, even a backhanded compliment is still an attempt to reach out to you.
Peevin’ Over Pinstripes
History has been filled with great villains. But for this die-hard Red Sox fan, there is only one enemy that lies within. Within New York that is.
A Day Late and a Column Short
Okay, a lot of days late and a column fulfilled. But hey, punctuality is only for people who can't make up excuses worth reading.
Sleepin’ On the Job
The highlights (and lowlights) of office life as an intern. At least the parts when you're awake.
An IM from Jesus
The Lord works in mysterious ways. His Son, however, is fond of Instant Messenger... and I'm not talking about Gabriel.