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East Lansing MI / Farmington CT

I was grown in a laboratory and set loose on the world in 2002 in my current physical state. The scientists that grew me forgot to impart any procedural knowledge into my brain, which became awkwardly apparent during high school as I was severely incontinent for the first few months. I'm the coolest guy you've never met.

Comedy Writing

I Wish I Was Funny

I'm not funny or sexy, so I never have sex, nor make people laugh, let alone both simultaneously.

Conflict Cubic Zirconium

For decades, Canadian cubic zirconium manufacturers have been using Canadian children for slave labor in CZ death labs. Help stop the atrocity.

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