Is Cindy a Better Parent Than You? A Research Paper
We, the authors (your neighborhood walking group), are hopeful that an analysis of our findings will lead you to finally shut the fuck up about this.
Comedy Writing
A Sweet Sixteen of Things More Likely to Happen to You Than Picking a Perfect March Madness Bracket
Your next tweet will go viral, attracting the attention of your biggest celebrity crush and leading to a passionate affair. (1 in 40.3 billion)
Now That I’ve Started Using a Bidet, I Realize That My Butthole Is Never Where I Think It Is
Each time, I smugly think to myself, “I’m right on this time.” I am not right on. Not ever. It always seems to be further back than I think.
Table of Contents: Parenting and Shit (A Parenting Book)
6. Clothes and Shit -It’s a diaper and not that hard to figure out, for fuck’s sake. -Bedazzling bullshit. -Why the fuck are head holes so small?
I Will Not Let Impostor Syndrome Get Me Down Just Because I’m an Actual Impostor
It has taken hard work to get to where I am. I am a self-made, set-a-guy-up-to-be-murdered-and-steal-his-identity kind of person.