The Greatest Minor League Baseball Scout
If you have a character flaw, Craig Ryburn is gonna find it. This is what has kept him in the trade for 34 years. He knows how to put everything on the smallest of tables.
Comedy Writing
Ode to the Shower Beer
You can pour pilsner into your mouth at whatever angle you want, and nobody from society is gonna judge you. Nobody is watching. Nobody cares.
The Top 10 Top Ten Lists
America is in love with the "Top 10 List". So get ready to rally behind my tallies, as I plan to catalyze evolution through overload with a top ten list of top ten lists.
Is Chris Berman an NFL Sex Addict?
Talking about football on television gets Chris Berman so steamy under the collar that it makes you wonder just what he was up to during the commercial break.
29 Spontaneous Ways to Combat Boredom in 2013
If you do anything out of the norm in 2013, please make sure that you get into a close-quartered sword ?ght at high elevation in a hot air balloon.
The Two Thousand Twelve Days of Christmas
A much-needed revision to the outdated gifts from the Christmas classic. Hell, even a song about gifts in 2005 would be long obsolete given our demand for the latest in supply.
The Coefficient of Friction of Pete Sampras on Tennis
Pre-Sampras, it was the norm for a tennis star to look about as masculine as the Dutch Boy. Post-Sampras, it became okay to be as hairy as an Italian truck driver.
Yogi Berra: Cat Assassin
"When you get to the fork in the road, take it... then you'll find the feline and put a putty knife through its brain stem." This is the Yogi Berra you never knew.
Roseanne Barr: Leader of Men
There was no better leading man than Roseanne Barr. Even though he mysteriously mensed once a month, we learned what life was really like in the blue collar trenches.
My First Day of Senility
I knew that while meeting my children that day for the first time would be a happy experience, I would be enduring the strange feeling of knowing nobody.
The Runback: Week 1 NFL Recap for the Mildly Invested
Week one began over a week ago, and ended the other night. The NFL sure knows how to make money. Here's the high-breadth, low-depth analysis, in succinctly verbose format.
Shit Little League Parents Say
Having little experience and less aptitude, parents are always firing baseball pointers from the stands during a showdown between two groups of mediocre 11- to 12-year-olds.