Assembly Instructions for a Bullshit Thing You Didn’t Need Anyway
Do not assemble in a wet location. Do not assemble at altitudes lower than two thousand (2000) miles below sea level. Do not assemble in a sea.
Jesse McLean is an award-winning humorist and culture commentator whose disciplines include technical writing, screenwriting, film and television criticism, humour articles and sketch comedy. Jesse's varied talents conspire to deliver incisive, thoughtful and creative copy. He has written process documentation for BMO, dialogue punch-up for Joe Flaherty and Brigitte Nielsen, ruminations on Wilhelm Reich’s “orgone accumulator” for PopMatters, how Rainer Maria Rilke might have negotiated Facebook for Yankee Pot Roast, and the inherent difficulties interviewing zombies for Eyes on Toronto with Stephen Eyes. Impromptu dance numbers lack technical grace but brim with “pizzazz”.
Do not assemble in a wet location. Do not assemble at altitudes lower than two thousand (2000) miles below sea level. Do not assemble in a sea.
If the state of my pillow covers means anything, this douchebag uses a ton of mustache wax. That narrows it down to eleven out of the fifteen band members.