Jokes
People asked me how I got my hands on my Grandma’s wealth when she passed away and I told them “where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
My grandfather worked his entire life in a mirror factory. He just couldn’t see himself doing anything else.
When I was a boy I asked my father, “Why do they describe life as a circle?” He turned to me and smiled warmly. “Because it’s pointless, son.”
Staring into the mirror, I say out loud, “You’re such an idiot. What are you doing with your life? Maybe you should just drive yourself into a river, call it a day.” Which is a terrible thing to say, and an even more unsettling thing for the Uber driver to hear.
As an adult, you still have unrealistic dreams and aspirations. When you were a child you’d say, “I want to be an astronaut” to any grown-up who would listen. Now you say, “I want to be happy” to an apathetic pet or coworker who wishes you were both dead.