<p>It's really weird to walk in on someone masturbating. It's even weirder when it happens in the porno section of a movie store. I wasn't sure what to do at first since there was so much awkward tension between the space where our eyes were making contact.<br />
I returned to school today and kissed my winter break good bye. It's not all bad though because I learned something from this past month. I was intoxicated in some form almost every single day of my month long break because I had nothing else to do besides go to work and get shitty with my friends.
I work at a video store. It amazes me that every day, customer after customer thinks they are smarter than I am. At first it was funny and I enjoyed ruining someone's master plan to rip the store off, but now it has become a chore and just pisses me off.<br />
<p>So a heated debate has been taking place between my friends, and I thought I would turn to the internet for answers.<br />
<p>I've been missing awhile due to papers and finals and the fact that I can't recall the last four days of my life due to way to much alcohol, caffine pills and lack of sleep. I've also spent the last day apologizing for the fact that I did probably 600 dollars worth of damage to a friend's house by breaking a window and shattering his bedroom door.
<p>It's like sitting on a cloud really. My bed has taken on a feather like quality and I'm just trying to enjoy what is left of my sanity. All my walls have turned purple and the ceiling looks like it's sliding a centimeter closer to me every minute. Nothing to worry about at the moment, it'll be hours before I'm crushed under the weight of some flimsy cardboard tile.<br />
<p>I'm not mad that you tell me I am a terrible writer who needs to proof read his shit. If there is one thing we can both agree on is that I am a bad person who makes terrible decisions, and most of the decisions effect the way I write.
<p>So I attempted to write an article while smoking Northern Lights. I started smoking at the beginning of the article and I'll document how far I made it until I was just to high. I have a bubbler that holds somewhere between a joint and a blunts worth of weed in it. I took the entire thing to the face. I know I can't write worth shit when I am high, but attempt to at least once a week.
<p>It doesn't matter how well you can brawl, sometimes you can just look at a person and tell, yeah, that person would kick the shit out of me. I think about stuff like this all the time. It's not that I am sizing up people, it's just sober me has to plan out who drunk me can and cannot fight.
I have made the decision not to shave my junk anymore unless in a relationship. The main reason behind this is I think it's hilarious when I pull my pants down during a one night stand and my fur burger leaps out at them like a caged tiger at the zoo. The girls facial expression is usually priceless. Also, none of these girls have ever just gotten up and walked out.
Ulysses S. Grant responds to Jefferson Davis' threats of a renewed Separatist Movement in the South by getting drunk, riding straight to South Carolina and challenging him to a duel. But not before passing out in his own vomit.
I'm still not sure how it happened, but a fight broke out in front of my friends house on Halloween. Well I mean I know how the first fight started. The first fight started when a kid who got kicked out of the party came back and hit one of my friends who lived there. He promptly got his ass beat and was escorted outside, where he talked more shit and was knocked out again.