Open Heart Perjury
Don't be surprised if the hospital staff treats you like a first grader and tells you a few half-truths. Besides, it's just open heart surgery.
While the overriding consensus of people who know Marcher is that he’s an outright asshole, his many notable life accomplishments include, but are not limited to: learning to ride a bike, making it totally socially acceptable to shave your head, winning multiple state championships in competitive speed-walking, and coining the phrase “dolphin fucking.” Marcher graduated in 2005 from the University of Maryland Baltimore County with a B.A. in psychology.
Perhaps the most intriguing part of Marcher’s life is that instead of writing in the traditional sense of the word, he actually gestates stories, articles, etc. directly onto the page, sometimes two or three at a time. While this allows him to get by using little or no actual creativity, the process itself is actually quite unnerving and doctors have speculated over the years that it comes from the fact that his circulatory system is filled with apathy instead of blood.
Don't be surprised if the hospital staff treats you like a first grader and tells you a few half-truths. Besides, it's just open heart surgery.
Raging whores learn the hard way from T.T. Allibaster: leave your phone lying around and daddy may find himself in the sexual know.
If women are out working alongside the men, who's at home raising the kids? We may as well all be living in a pineapple under the sea.
The best way to break up with a girl is to be honest with her. So go ahead, tell her she's fat, annoying, crazy, or terrible at sex.
The neighborhood pool is the social scene for most people, but it's also the stage for mother/daughter conflict in the Keeney family.
Not even girls are immune to beer goggles. Except that the female kind affects their conceptualization of how they look while they’re dancing.
Volumes of literature, prose, and philosophy have been aimed at understanding women. None has come close to this 3-step process.
At their core, relationships are nothing more than an exchange of goods and services. Here's how to achieve an economy of scale.
Wherever you're out drinking, chances are there's a drunk guy ready and waiting to fight. What causes this compulsive, idiotic behavior?
The fire, the anger, it’s like a muscle you have to realize and develop. This is the story of Marine's first flex and workout.
Things were easy in the asexual, academic exploration of kindergarten. Until Katie Keeney introduced Marine to stubborn womanry.
As a fat kid and a wrestler, Marine spent a lot of time hitting the mat. But nothing compared to the pain of wrestling a future UFC fighter.