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Dublin, CA

I'm the guy right across the street wearing the "Honx if yous from the Bronx" t-shirt. Go to the window. Seriously. What have you got to lose? Just take a peak. It'll only take a second. There you go. No, over to the left. See me? I'm waving. No, over here. Up more. Right there. God, you're so gullible...

Comedy Writing

Welcome to the Team!!

As an employee at Wenton's Fluorescents, you're worth your weight in watts! That's a lot of positive energy we can't wait to harness!

Whatcha Looking At, Buddy?

You think this is funny? How bout we fight outside and see who's face looks funny then? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply you're not ugly already.

A Missed Connection Callback

<p class="MsoNormal" style="">w4m: Hi. I accidentally walked into the Starbucks men's restroom yesterday. It was at the <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">Bridgeway Drive</st1:address></st1:street> location, at around 4 pm. Could the gentlemen at urinals 4, 7, and 12 give me a call?<br />Carol (717) 682-50--<br /><br />p.s. #5, you're flying standby.<o:p></o:p></p>

I Farted, and—I’m Pretty Sure—Ruined the Mood

<div style="clear:both;"></div><p class="MsoNormal">W4Whomever:</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My name’s Gretchen and I live at <st1:address st="on"><st1:street st="on">1228 Feldling Drive</st1:street>, <st1:city st="on">Brisbane</st1:city>, <st1:state st="on">CA</st1:state></st1:address>. </p>

$40 OBO

<div style="clear:both;"></div><p class="MsoNormal">WANTED:</p>

If You Weren’t Barren and Loveless…

<div style="clear:both;"></div><p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">October 31<sup>st</sup>, 1806</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Josephine,</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>

I am a Mess Without You!

<div style="clear:both;"></div><p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">November 3<sup>rd</sup>, 1978<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sabrina, My Sun, My Life!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>

Tough Cookies, Sister

<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">October 10<sup>th</sup>, 1806<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Josephine,</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>

Love is a Gulag

<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">March 12<sup>th</sup>, 1948<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><st1:place st="on">Cher</st1:place> Beatrice,</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>

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