The Grinch Shouldn’t Be Prosecuted in the Court of Public Opinion
In Who-ville, critical thinking is not valued as a trait. No, rumor and hearsay are given far more weight.
Comedy Writing
You Have to Learn Coding! It’s the Only Way to Survive the Job Market and the Wrath of Our Robot Overlords
It’s the only way to hack job market, make killer money, and convince our Robot Overlords to let you keep your original brain!
With These Latest Mass Shootings, We Condemn the Violent Influence of Princess Zelda, Donkey Kong, and Super Mario
Mario is the lust for violence incarnate wrapped in a disguise of respectability. Those green pipes you see are hardly plumbing simulators.
New Tracks Dropped By Kremlin-Approved Rappers
Get hype for "Damn It Feels Good To Be A State-Sponsored Social Media Influencer," "Obey Tha Police," and "Putin Said Knock You Out."
Why Your Cat Has Economic Anxiety
You're always freelancing from home, which means your cat has to watch you and dart away when you notice. So there goes her whole day.
I Believe in the Rehabilitation of the Child I’m Asking You to Sentence to Life Without Parole
I’m not asking you to think about “scientific evidence” or “UN sanctions.” I’m asking you to incarcerate this child with your heart, like an American.