Austin

Jon is a writer, filmmaker, and cartoonist who eats way too much Nutella. Send help.



Jokes

They say you should never meet your heroes. That’s why I’ve never met my dad.

— Jon Fortenbury,

Anytime someone says they’d like to be a “fly on the wall” during some big moment, I think, “You do know people kill flies, right?”

— Jon Fortenbury,

I think D.A.R.E. would have been more effective if it were called Double Dog D.A.R.E.

— Jon Fortenbury,

If sugar truly is more addictive than cocaine, then I really need to stop putting sugar in my cocaine.

— Jon Fortenbury,
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