<p><img src="/files/u46/saint_paddy.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="300" /> </p><p>On this joyous Irish saint day, if you want to impress people (future sexual partners) with your knowledge instead of your drinking prowess, here are some fun facts about American bars, Saint Paddy's and Irish stuff. So enjoy, kind readers.</p><p>It's true, green beer causes you to be gaytarded. </p>
"Hi, I'm here for the mugging position you listed on Craigslist. I think I have a lot to offer to the robbery profession. Maybe I could learn the trade, then possibly manage my own team of muggers and pickpockets."
<p><img src="/files/u46/invisible_man.jpg" alt="The Invisible Man" width="400" height="400" /></p><p>As I walked down the street today I saw a sign in a furniture store or maybe a coffee shop (either or, the place was empty) that said "Invisible Man Reading." </p>
I know I'm not the only one offended by a movie about two gay cowboys hiding and showing their love for each other. It's high time we made a violent, sexy retelling of this pile of shitty celluloid, complete with Indian fights, chewing tobacco, and totall
<p><img src="/files/u46/red_rocket.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="550" /> </p><p>Gang, I just got off the phone with my tattoo artist Adam Hays who had some bad news. Buddha, another tattooist, just lost his eldest daughter to senseless violence. </p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/kc___high.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="300" /> </p><p>A few of my fellow writers like to write after drinking. Sometimes my best stuff comes after I'm really hungover. I definitely don't suggest this as it can kill brain cells and you can end up waking up next to some awkward people. </p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/jackalope_rider.jpg" alt="" width="250" height="249" /><img alt="" /> </p><p>Happy Ash Wednesday everybody. I hope you all figured out the types of jelly beans the Easter Bunny will bring you in forty days. While you're thinking, answer some questions! </p>
Men, don't fret if you've been burned by a psychotic woman before - I have too. Many many times. Here are 10 warning signs to prevent you from falling prey to this unyielding predator.
I hope you all remember your personal favorite Valentine's Day moments during this joyous season of love and candy. Just in case you don't possess a favorite mushy moment.
<p><img src="/files/u46/shark_attack.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="300" /> </p><p>I drank mezcal with a scorpion in the bottle last night and almost ordered tacos de chapulines (grasshopper tacos). 1A. What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten? 1B. What's the nastiest thing you've ever drank? 1C. What's the baddest ass thing you've ever eaten or drank?</p>
Every year I go on a month-long hiatus from alcohol, smoking, Facebook, caffeine and junk food. My Organs hate it, especially Stomach, who's not nearly getting his fill.
<p><img src="/files/u46/octopus.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="340" /> </p><p>I've really been slacking on weekly questions. I've been forced to deal with my own life questions: how will I find another job in this economy, where should I move next and why do I base a country's merit on its cheap food choices in my neighborhood (Vietnam is good, France is bad). </p>