From Black Friday to Red Monday
The mall and popular stores like Walmart aren't always bad, but whenever Black Friday rolls around, they somehow transform into a scene from Braveheart.
I'm a professional stand-up comic and humor writer, originally from Nashville and now living in NYC. Come to one of my shows out there! I once got kicked out of a Golden Corral. Yes, it's possible. I also have appeared on the Late Show w/ David Letterman, CMT, and VH-1, and I write freelance for Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update.
The mall and popular stores like Walmart aren't always bad, but whenever Black Friday rolls around, they somehow transform into a scene from Braveheart.
When the Miami Heat lost the NBA Championship, a sigh of relief went out in 49 states. You see, most of America learned to resent all things LeBron James in just one year's time.
Libya is like a hot fat chick. We want to mess around with her, but we're not comfortable admitting it to anyone. Libya is like our latest night booty call ever.
Thank god summer will be over in a couple of months. It feels like Earth has a GPS system, and someone programmed its destination to be the center of the sun.