Lauren Grimaldi profile page

Lauren Grimaldi Chicago, IL

Lauren Grimaldi is a Chicago area humor writer whose work has appeared in Reductress, The Belladonna, End of the Bench Sports and Robot Butt. She's not sure why she turned out like this.

Comedy Writing

Woman Swimming Laps at Local Pool Just Misses Katie Ledecky’s Time by 45 Minutes

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 8, 2024 | End of the Bench

REPORT: 95 Percent of Book Forewords Contain Entirely Unnoticed Confessions to Crimes

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 31, 2024 | Reductress

Double Standard? This Woman Quit Her Job and No One Thanked Her for Saving the Country

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 25, 2024 | Reductress

Nice! Woman’s Bank Account Under the Impression She Goes to the Gym

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 23, 2024 | Reductress

Aww! This Woman’s Dream Job Is Whatever’s Hiring

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 16, 2024 | Reductress

Family Drama? This Woman Is Estranged From Olive Garden

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 15, 2024 | Reductress

Woman Worries She Can’t Handle the Pressure of Her Mid-Level Marketing Job

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 9, 2024 | Reductress

Thrifting? This Woman Wore an Outfit That’s Been in Her Closet for a Year

by Lauren Grimaldi | June 28, 2024 | Reductress

Sad! Mom Doesn’t Realize Songs She Grew Up With Were Originally Sung by the Glee Cast

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 28, 2024 | Reductress

Score! Woman’s Shitty Outfit Accidentally in Style

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 13, 2024 | Reductress

Embarrassing! This Woman Accidentally Dropped Her Phone on Her Face and Swallowed It Whole

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 8, 2024 | Reductress

‘In This Book I’m Reading,’ Says Woman Referring to Book That’s Been in Her Bag for Three Months

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 7, 2024 | Reductress

Sad! This Woman Achieved Everything She Aspired to and Now She Has to Do It Forever

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 16, 2024 | Reductress

REPORT: Katie Britt Still Sitting in Her Kitchen Threatening Slice of Apple Pie About Immigration

by Lauren Grimaldi | March 8, 2024 | Reductress

Nation Running Out of Time to Save Itself from Baseball Season

by Lauren Grimaldi | March 1, 2024 | End of the Bench

Compromise? This Woman Read an Entire Book on Her Phone

by Lauren Grimaldi | February 20, 2024 | Reductress

Devastating! Woman-Owned Workplace Still a Workplace

by Lauren Grimaldi | February 14, 2024 | Reductress

REPORT: Nikki Haley Finishes Behind ‘Meteor That Kills Us All’ Option

by Lauren Grimaldi | February 8, 2024 | Reductress

Woman Too Hungry to Care About Whose Hair That Was

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | January 24, 2024 | Reductress

Chicago Bears Unsure If Justin Fields Is the Guy Whose Life They Want to Continue Ruining

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 15, 2024 | End of the Bench

Catastrophic Things I Imagine Happened to My Gym So I Have to Turn Around and Go Home Once I Get There

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 8, 2024 | The Belladonna

‘The Snow Looks So Pretty,’ Says Woman Who Will Slip and Fall in It Tomorrow

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | January 8, 2024 | Reductress

Woman Scared to Take Meds in Case It Makes Her Normal

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 2, 2024 | Reductress

Woman’s New Year’s Resolution Is to Remember What Year It Is by March

by Lauren Grimaldi | December 21, 2023 | Reductress

Woman Spends Entire Car Ride Wondering If Person Behind Her Thinks She’s a Good Driver

by Lauren Grimaldi | December 19, 2023 | Reductress

Woman Makes Pact That if She Isn’t Married by 40 to Count Her Blessings

by Lauren Grimaldi | December 6, 2023 | Reductress

NHL Bans Players from Having Discernible Personality Traits

by Lauren Grimaldi | November 29, 2023 | End of the Bench

How to Prepare to Go Ice Skating by Calling the Paramedics in Advance

by Lauren Grimaldi | November 28, 2023 | Reductress

Aw! This Woman Finally Found a Man Who Chooses Her

by Lauren Grimaldi | November 27, 2023 | Reductress

I’m Looking for a Kind, Funny Man Who Will Name a Puffy Cheese Snack After My Ass

by Lauren Grimaldi | November 8, 2023 | Robot Butt

Atlanta Braves to Cancel All Off Days for 2024 Season

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 16, 2023 | End of the Bench

How to Enjoy ‘The Golden Bachelor’ Without Thinking About the Political Opinions of All the Contestants

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 16, 2023 | Reductress

Hybrid Work Model? This Woman Only Cries at Her Job on Wednesdays

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 12, 2023 | Reductress

Smart! This Woman Confessed to a Crime on Threads so No One Ever Saw It

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 11, 2023 | Reductress

Man Only Good at Expressing Himself When Outraged

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 20, 2023 | Reductress

Completely Sober Woman Somehow Still Not Okay to Drive

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 11, 2023 | Reductress

Brave! This Woman Is Still in the Right Lane Even Though She Has to Turn Left in Ten Miles

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 28, 2023 | Reductress

Cubs Manager David Ross Agrees to ‘Just Do a Silly One’ for Upcoming Lineup

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 26, 2023 | End of the Bench

‘I Should Go to Grad School,’ Says Woman Whose Hair Is on Fire

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 24, 2023 | Reductress

Ben Platt Ridicules Reporter for Not Understanding Why He’s Daddy’s Special Little Guy

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 24, 2023 | Reductress

Olivia Rodrigo’s New Album to Be Highlight of 32-Year-Old’s Summer

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 11, 2023 | Reductress

How to Have It All Even Though That Sounds Like a Lot

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | May 17, 2023 | Reductress

‘Haha, Yeah!’ Says Woman Unknowingly Agreeing to the Most Insane Conspiracy Theory She’s Ever Heard

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 16, 2023 | Reductress

Shocking! This Woman’s Stomach Hurts Even Though She Only Ate Hot Cheetos Today

by Lauren Grimaldi | May 12, 2023 | Reductress

How to Open Up to Someone Even Though They Aren’t Drew Barrymore

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | May 4, 2023 | Reductress

Spooky! Woman Who Never Went to Class Still Has Dreams About Forgetting to Go to Class

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 25, 2023 | Reductress

Wow! This Woman’s Cramps Got So Bad Her Boyfriend Said ‘Aw, That Sucks’

by Lauren Grimaldi | April 3, 2023 | Reductress

Sad! Nation Does More to Protect Children From TikTok Than Guns

by Lauren Grimaldi | April 3, 2023 | Reductress

QUIZ: Is a New Hemorrhoid Popping Up or Did Ms. Frizzle Crash Into Your Ass Again?

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | February 27, 2023 | Reductress

Goals! This Woman Has Been Living With COVID for Years and Now They’re Finally Getting Married

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | February 13, 2023 | Reductress

Nepo Baby? This Woman Was Only Born Because Her Parents Were Alive First

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 30, 2023 | Reductress

How to Get Your Doctor to Believe You by Dying in Front of Them

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 26, 2023 | Reductress

How to Celebrate the Anniversary of January 6 by Risking It All for a Man Who Doesn’t Care About You

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 5, 2023 | Reductress

Soft Launch? Friend Suddenly Posting About Her Missing Boyfriend

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | January 2, 2023 | Reductress

How to Go to the Gym Even Though Men Will Be There

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | November 22, 2022 | Reductress

How to Drive at Night Even Though You Can’t See Shit

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | November 9, 2022 | Reductress

How to Read a Book Even Though It’s Not a Screen

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | October 31, 2022 | Reductress

Tragic! This Woman Died Trying to Out Pizza the Hut

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 27, 2022 | Reductress

Wow! This Woman’s Five Year Plan Is to Think About It Again in Five Years

by Lauren Grimaldi | October 25, 2022 | Reductress

‘I’m A Nice Guy!’ Screams Man

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 15, 2022 | Reductress

Kind of Sad? Friend Who’s an Engineer Still Uses Stuff She Learned in Math Class

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | September 8, 2022 | Reductress

REPORT: The Hospital Makes You Take the Baby Home and Then You Have to Take Care of It

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 6, 2022 | Reductress

Study Finds There Just Aren’t Enough Places to Buy Soft Pretzels

by Lauren Grimaldi | September 6, 2022 | Reductress

CDC Announces People With COVID Can Cough on Person of Their Choosing

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 15, 2022 | Reductress

Wow! This Middle Aged Man Fell In Love With His Girlfriend on the Exact Day She Turned 18 and Not a Minute Earlier

by Lauren Grimaldi | August 4, 2022 | Reductress

Goals! This Woman Has a Master’s Degree She Often Forgets About

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 27, 2022 | Reductress

Red Flag? Nothing Seems to Be Wrong With This Man

by Lauren Grimaldi | July 21, 2022 | Reductress

Woman Loves Driving Until She Has to Park, Back Up, or Switch Lanes

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | July 11, 2022 | Reductress

I LIVED IT: The Government Took Away My Rights and Still Expected Me to Come to Its Birthday Party

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | June 30, 2022 | Reductress

Smart! Woman Saved Thousands on Gas By Buying This Car

by Lauren Grimaldi | June 21, 2022 | Reductress

Weird! Friend Keeps Reading a Lot of Books as if She’s Trying to Win a Pizza Party or Something

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | June 14, 2022 | Reductress

Sad! 18-Year-Old Woman Still Thinks She Can Be the Dancing Queen

by Lauren Grimaldi | June 9, 2022 | Reductress

Woman’s Depressive Episode Picked Up for a Full Season

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | June 6, 2022 | Reductress

REPORT: Guy in Band You’re Watching Is Kind of Cute

by Lauren Grimaldi | June 6, 2022 | Reductress

I LIVED IT: I Agreed With the Teenager’s Parents in a Coming of Age Movie

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | May 24, 2022 | Reductress

‘You Need to Vote to Fix This,’ Says Lawmaker You’ve Voted for in the Past Four Elections

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | May 10, 2022 | Reductress

REPORT: You Can Fix Him

by Lauren Grimaldi | April 28, 2022 | Reductress

Healthy Work Environment Still Kind of Annoying to Be Honest

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 28, 2022 | Reductress

I LIVED IT: No One Said They Liked My Dress So I Couldn’t Tell Them It Has Pockets

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 27, 2022 | Reductress

Woman Reconsiders Desire for Success When She Realizes She Might Have to Wake Up Early

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 20, 2022 | Reductress

Woman a Little Disappointed Meeting With Boss Led To More Work

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | April 11, 2022 | Reductress

Man in Barbershop Quartet Texted You ‘Hello’ Four Times After Midnight

by Lauren Grimaldi | March 24, 2022 | Reductress

Useless? Friend’s Daughter Doesn’t Sell Girl Scout Cookies

by Lauren Grimaldi | March 7, 2022 | Reductress

QUIZ: Is the Pandemic Over or Are We Just Pretending It Is for the Fourth Time Now?

by Lauren Grimaldi | February 24, 2022 | Reductress

There’s No Way ‘Love Is Blind’ Works—but Should I Apply Just to Make Sure?

by Lauren Grimaldi and Editor | February 23, 2022 | Reductress

Boyfriends 50% Off After Valentine’s Day

by Lauren Grimaldi | February 14, 2022 | Reductress

4 Out of 5 Dentists Agree That Your Insurance Sucks and They Won’t Accept It

by Lauren Grimaldi | February 7, 2022 | Reductress

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys to the Yard and They’re Like This Land Could Be Used for Affordable Housing

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 6, 2022 | Reductress

People Keep Telling Me to Have a Happy New Year but I’m Doing My Own Research

by Lauren Grimaldi | January 3, 2022 | Reductress