I Am Your New Passive Aggressive Fitbit and I’m Stoked to Give You Anxiety about Your Resting Heart Rate
What’s going on in that head of yours that’s got you so worked up while we’re just sitting here hate-scrolling through your ex’s Facebook?
Comedy Writing
I Am Your Abandoned Pandemic Bike and I Will Not Be Ignored
What does your couch give you that I don’t?
Five Facebook Pages from High School to Unlike While Wide Awake at 3AM
Undoubtedly a continuation of the Dada movement, "Screaming At The Sun" was so avant-garde, so groundbreaking, and just SO RANDOM xD.
I Am Your Period Underwear and I Deserve a Goddamn Purple Heart
I was once beautiful. Lacy, soft, and placed with love into your dresser in the coveted spot next to that lavender sachet your grandmother gave you.
This Shapely Perfume Bottle is Hotter Than Me
Yet another advantage she has over me and my perpetually degrading corporeal being that needs stupid shit like food and water and exercise and love.