Things Your Teen Daughter Asks You at 11:17 PM, When You’re in Bed Watching “House Hunters”
Oh my god, I literally have nothing to put on my college applications. Why did you let me quit cross country?
I think we can all agree that the silver lining of raising teenagers (and toddlers, their sucky younger brethren) is that we can make fun of them. Besides chauffeuring my three teens to club sports and competitive dance recitals (topic for next satire!), I'm also a teaching professor and spend much of my week in faculty meetings (satirical essay already published!). My creative work has been published in Kugelmass, Freerange Nonfiction, Hippocampus, and Anthropology and Humanism. I've also written an ethnography and academic journal articles, but let's be honest, no one besides my dad has read any of it.
Oh my god, I literally have nothing to put on my college applications. Why did you let me quit cross country?