How to Still Be the Main Character of Your Friend Group Even Though One of Your Friends Got Hit by a Car
Now, is it sad? Of course. But the problem lies within people being concerned about her... more than they pay attention to you.
Comedy Writing
Your Baby Shower Isn’t About Me—But It Should Be
We don't even know him, what if this kickass party goes to waste because your baby ends up being a loser or something?
My High School Classmate Bought a House—It’s Haunted, but I’m Still Jealous
I think about the cold draft that likely billows through her hallways at night as I sit in this suffocating summer heat.
“Can’t We Just Like, Blow Up His House?” and Other Things You Apparently Can’t Say to a Friend Going Through a Breakup
"What gives? Let's get fro-yo and drop a piano on him Looney Tunes-style."
I’m the Tall Guy Blocking Your View at a Concert, Here’s What I Want You to Know
I’ve been told that the back of my head is so soft, it's like those $10 holiday blankets you get at Target.