The Comment Section of a Recipe for a Revenge Spell
I was out of eye of newt, so I substituted rainbow sprinkles. Spell did not work. 0/5 broomsticks
Libby Marshall is a writer, performer, and tall person from Chicago, IL. She is the author of the short story collection Penny Pinching Tips for the Morally Bankrupt. Her writing has appeared on Reductress, McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points In Case, The Belladonna, The Offing, Little Old Lady, and The Weekly Humorist. She has written and performed two solo shows, many sketch shows, and more improv shows than is healthy. She loves candles that smell like desserts, funny podcasts, and scarves that are big enough to double as blankets.
I was out of eye of newt, so I substituted rainbow sprinkles. Spell did not work. 0/5 broomsticks
Ask whether they want to eat off of a flat plate or an upside-down bowl. Your child will soon realize that flat surfaces are the only way to go!
In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn’t have loudly invited every member of staff to come watch me “roast this bird” at tic-tac-toe.
These uncovered trash bins might as well be a Bigfoot buffet. And one Bigfoot taking a dip in your pool will permanently clog the filter with hair.
The Globe Master pulled a tiny globe the size of a McIntosh apple from under his top hat and asked if I wanted to “go for a spin.”
We must answer the question of how Harry, a man I once saw eat a Skittle off the men’s room floor, conquered the forbidden frontiers of science.
Slowly add in the dry mixture until combined. The batter should be rough as the terrain near the Washougal River Basin in Washington state.
Marilyn Brewster was surrounded by loved ones including her beautiful, perfect daughter Deborah who I could make so happy if she’d return my calls.
As it struggled, it waved General McHenry closer. It opened eyes and in its dying breath choked out, "You're not fooling anyone with that hairpiece."
Get lost in our “A-maize-ing” corn maze! It’s the same as our previous corn mazes, but you will not be allowed to exit until you register to vote.
TIME Magazine once called Dr. Krunth, “a man mad enough to think himself a God while doing the work of the Devil.” All summer I would call him “boss.”
Remove gravy from its place as the creamy binder of the American Thanksgiving and you have nothing more than a gelatinous meat gloop. Pass.