It’s Great to Hear About Your Wedding, Even Though I’m a Monster Living in the Sewers
So where are you holding the wedding? Is it going to be in the sewers of Chicago?
Lillie Franks is a trans author and teacher who lives in Chicago, Illinois with the best cats. You can read her work at places like Always Crashing, Poemeleon, and Drunk Monkeys or follow her on Twitter at @onyxaminedlife. She loves anything that is not the way it should be.
So where are you holding the wedding? Is it going to be in the sewers of Chicago?
Canyons, however, are terrible. They’re like backwards mountains, but long. There’s nothing grand about that.
Disappointing Truth: Stonehenge is just another case of mass hysteria. In reality, of course, rocks can’t be balanced on top of each other.
Have you tried burping? What about being burped? It’s okay to be small and fragile sometimes. Or all the time.
10-4: Truckers believe that it is bad luck to say the number 40 because this was the number of years the Israelites wandered in the desert.
The whole town had gathered in the stands, because they were too poor to afford a place in the seats.
Myth: Balloon animals hate humans for cursing them with life. Fact: Balloon animals only hate the specific human who inflated them.
Anti-Christ. Bizarro-God. The Divinaughty. Providen’t. The horn in horny. The original Pitchfork Media. The devil you know.
And she did reply, "No, they are of no concern to us. Let them wander in the desert. We shall begin… Project Babylon."
The Laws of Robotics, if Isaac Asimov was really into Partying: A robot must not harsh the vibe, or by inaction, allow the vibe to be harshed.
Awfully hot day, isn’t it? It’s always hot here in the summers, but we make do. That’s what the Edgar family does. We make do.
That’s right, I’d be afraid if I were you too. Afraid of having my actions held up to intellectually rigorous ethical scrutiny!