Teens Need to Put Down Their Phones and Get Hunted by Me, a Masked Killer
I appreciate the new possibilities social media has created, but I worry about what they’re missing out on.
Comedy Writing
Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool Me Twenty Times and That’s a Situation
Fool me three times, there’s a little bit of shame to go around here. Admittedly, maybe I should have caught on to your character by now.
My Metamorphosis into a Monstrous Vermin Went Pretty Great, Actually
“I know you mean well, Dad,” my sister said. “But these days, it’s considered more polite to say ‘enormous insect’ rather than ‘monstrous vermin’.”
I Used to Be on the Left; Then They Laughed at My Forbidden Experiments
People I trusted to think through issues started quoting slogans I didn’t understand. “The dead are better off remaining dead,” they would say.
Introducing Men 2, the Gender for Men
Finally. A gender for men. Man 2 isn’t your GRANDMOTHER’S GENDER. Or your grandfather’s, strictly speaking.
How to Manage a Household Infestation of Artists from the Romantic Period
Don’t leave any emotions or aesthetic experiences on exposed surfaces overnight.
Famous First Lines of Novels, Updated to Drive More Clicks
It was the best of times. What it also was will shock you!
9 Easy Life Hacks That Definitely Aren’t Black Magic, Trust Us
Life Hack: Take some plastic and wrap it around the stem of the banana. This will give the banana a noticeably longer lifespan. This isn’t because of magic!
I’m the Buddha, and Desire Is Okay, as Long as It’s for Pepsi-Cola
Desire always leads to suffering, with the exception of the desire for an ice-cold glass of refreshing Pepsi-Cola™. That one’s fine.
Writers, Please Avoid Using the Following Forbidden Literary Devices
Gallegory: Everything in a story represents something else, but only for the ladies. Men still have to read it literally.
How to Make a Cover Letter That’s Slightly Less Desperate than You
There are two things that all employers love to hear about: high quarterly profits and hidden treasure.
You Only Think I’m Overdosing on Motivational Content Because of Your Weak Mindset
Actually, I think I’m responding quite normally to the motivational seminar I watch constantly.