Writers, Please Avoid Using the Following Forbidden Literary Devices
Gallegory: Everything in a story represents something else, but only for the ladies. Men still have to read it literally.
Lillie Franks is a trans author and teacher who lives in Chicago, Illinois with the best cats. You can read her work at places like Always Crashing, Poemeleon, and Drunk Monkeys or follow her on Twitter at @onyxaminedlife. She loves anything that is not the way it should be.
Gallegory: Everything in a story represents something else, but only for the ladies. Men still have to read it literally.
There are two things that all employers love to hear about: high quarterly profits and hidden treasure.
Actually, I think I’m responding quite normally to the motivational seminar I watch constantly.
Fire's just supposed to be a pretty thing you look at sometimes. Like a lava lamp, but it can kill you.
I murdered your wife, and you got pretty mad at me for doing that. We’ll call that one a tie. We’re both people!
Put it on this coat rack, where all of my coats are. Is that because I regularly put my coats on the coat rack, rather than strewing them on the floor?
He could tell at once that this luncheon’s company would be quite dull, which was always exciting.
Anyone who tries to create a paradox gets stopped by theoretical physicist Michio Kaku and his incredible superpowers.
"Fearless" -- You see the glass as half-full, not half-empty. That includes the glass of tea which you brought to Lady Ashby the day she died.
He ruffles my feathers. He overcooks my sunny-side-up eggs. You know what I mean? Really Mondays my Garfield.
I regret that I have but one chance to offer a high five to the executioner while I’m on the gallows and then say, "Hey, don’t leave me hanging!"
Goosebumps #11: The Currency Exchange For Monsters: Monsters Have Currency Exchanges, I Guess