Hold My Calls, I Have a Crush
Immediately reschedule the client-by-client reviews; I like him so much I’m gonna throw up.
Comedy Writing
How to Meet Someone Without the Apps
Discover a New Type of Bug: When you’re talking about the bug on National Geographic, make a joke about how you’re single.
I’m an Aesthetically-Pleasing Instagram Graphic about Social Justice, and I’m Here to Do Absolutely Nothing
I’m a hip font on an eye-catching background. I’m a cake that says "end white supremacy." I’m a black square.
Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed Reveals Her Skincare Secret
I abide religiously by three principles: stay out of the sun, get plenty of sleep, and bathe in the blood of virgin women.
I Am the Old Man on the Stationary Bike at the Gym, and I Am Here to Fucking Crush It
I am simply part of the gym’s existence, like the water fountain and the ambient hip-hop music piped in through invisible speakers.
Slogans from the MTA’s Expanded “See Something, Say Something” Campaign
If you SEE something delicious, SAY “that looks yummy!” If you SEE something nutritious, SAY “I think I’ll go back to the yummy thing from earlier.”