Mixer Helps Lonely Man Finally Surpass Father
A spur-of-the-moment party saves desperate, lonely man Danny Aleman from social oblivion and family patheticism.
Comedy Writing
You Have a Sad Boy Inside You – Fill Him With Seeso
You are not alone, because there is a sad boy inside you. But do not wet your big dewy eyes, stand-up comedy can save him.
Just Because My Name is Robert Poopinmyunderwear Does Not Mean You Can Call Me “Bob”
My father, Robert Earl Poopinmyunderwear, brought prosperity to this town. Poopinmyunderwear Diapers are the top selling pants guards for feces-conscious adults.
Did You Not Wash Your Hands After Pooping on the Boss’ Desk?
Gary, I've called you into HR today not because you defecated onto Mr. Peters’ desk, but because you clearly didn’t even make an attempt to wash your hands afterward.
I Don’t Want This Suck & Fuck to Start Getting Political
Suck & Fuck does not belong to anyone. It is a car-based, non-profit sexual marathon open to all members of the public, so long as they adhere to the rules.
10 Things to Say When Your Dentist Asks “How Do You Like My Fingers In Your Mouth?”
Don’t tell my wife, but I love it. I stopped brushing just so I’d have to come here more often and get those feather dusters you call fingers glossing my yellowed mouth ivy.
I’m God, And When I Said I Love Everyone, I Was Talking Specifically About You, Martha
I'm in love with you Martha, and I know that must be hard to hear, even though I'm projecting my omnipotent voice clearly into your subconscious.
How Bad is the Entourage Movie? THIIIIIS BAD
Entourage movie is so bad, it makes Citizen Kane look like a much better Citizen Kane. I can only hope this isn’t what entertainment has become.
Why I Think Jaws Should Be Remade With a Car Instead of a Shark
How am I supposed to be stricken with deep-sea terror when I know Martin Brody is more likely to die by Range Rover than shark attack?
7 Things Everyone on Earth Will DEFINITELY Understand
Ever feel a second pass? Oh my god me too! Like all the time, it's like, when will it end HAHA? I'm so glad you understand what I'm taking about!
6 Things Every Introvert Will Understand
What happened to you? You use to be so full of life, now all you do is scroll through Internet lists, day in and day out. Well, this is an intervention.
Nine of Sherman’s Lesser-Known Marches
After a long, hearty march to end the war, Sherman and his men were disappointed, although understanding, of the equally long, less hearty march back from the sea.